AN UNBALANCED LIFE

**I’ve written my blogs  the last few years, and just now choosing to publish them.  This is one that was written a few years ago.  Andrew doesn’t like to snuggle anymore, but, I’m still tired. 🙂

Andrew wants me to sleep with him.

I would love to snuggle, but all I can think about is climbing into my own bed and watching the TV shows I’ve recorded. Part of me feels guilty. I want to be there for my child and help him feel secure. Another part of me just wants to be alone. I know if I lie down with him, I’ll be asleep before he is.

I. AM. SO. TIRED.

Ugh. What am I thinking? I’ve got to finish the laundry, the dogs haven’t been fed, and I’ve got work to do. I … am … too … tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Where’s the balance?

There is none. I have to choose. Choose to be with my child one night as he drifts off to sleep, and then choose chores the next. Squeeze in my mindless relaxation—my TV shows—when I can.

It’s the nature of being a divorced mom. There’s no one to help me. It is tiring. It is hard. But I know I can do this. There’s no “I think I can,” like the hopeful little engine in storybooks. There’s only a definitive, show-no-weakness chant, “I CAN.”

“I can, I can, I can, I can …. “